I'm Still Here

I was 3 months pregnant with my first child when the towers came down. I had lost about 5kg due to "morning" sickness (this should be re-named "every minute of every freaking day" sickness) and was feeling pretty rancid but relatively happy as we were visiting friends for the evening. Our host got a call from his brother who told him to turn the TV on,  NOW! We tuned in before the second plane hit and I remember such a mixture of feelings as we watched it happen. Nothing else existed. The same scenes played over and over for hours.

I thought about the little bean growing in my belly and wondered what kind of a world would be waiting for them. I felt scared. I felt vulnerable. I thought this was the beginning of the 'end of days' and I was going to be the pregnant woman left behind in the muck; or the depleted new mother with a fledgling human to protect. How would I be able to run? to hide? to survive? and protect a baby?!

10 years on and I have a healthy and happy 9 year old girl and 7 year old boy. Life continues to assert itself all around me. The world did change after 9/11 but not in the devastating way I thought it would. And 2 years ago I woke up and saw the world and life in a very new light. The only 'end of days' I now worry about is one that we, the human race, might bring upon ourselves. Through neglecting and ravaging our environment or maybe thermo-nuclear war as a result of unrestrained greed and power. There will be no 'second coming' but there are plenty of religious extremists willing and eager to bring our world a very real  Armageddon. They will it on, they want it to happen soon! Because they don't care about this life; they want the next life ... paradise ... but there is none. There are people in this world, from all kinds of religions, who are willing the 'end of days' upon us. This MUST change.

The social nicety of respecting Religion needs to end. If something cannot withstand investigation then it ought not to be blindly revered and funded with our tax dollars and fed to our kids. It is a poison. Humankind has the capacity to love and to live harmoniously WITHOUT religion.


Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one 



-- John Lennon Imagine


I have just come back from a women's full-moon celebration with my daughter. There were about 20 of us at a friends house. We sat around a fire and shared our thoughts and feelings. We danced. We sang. We ate. We laughed. We hugged. We connected.

I feel renewed by the love of these women.

Thank you to the amazing woman who organised this night for us. We need these sorts of gatherings and opportunities to love and to share.  Let's heal our own hearts so that we can reach out in love. I send my LOVE out to all of you tonight.