Family Tree House of Horrors XIV

A post on fMh today reminded me of something I wanted to write about.

T and I just celebrated 10 years of marriage. Awesome eh! Well personally I’m thinking of getting a divorce but I’ll explain that more fully in a later post.

I’d rather celebrate the 15 years that we have been together, since to me, our wedding day was a sham.

For those of you unfamiliar with Mormon weddings there is a VERY strong theme in the lessons at church about getting married in the temple. For women especially, it is THE goal (then popping out kids, followed hopefully not too closely by the big trip to heaven). To be married in the temple you must be ‘pure’ and have interviews with church leaders to satisfy them that you are pure. We passed… although in all honesty we kind of pulled the wool over their eyes with that one ;)

The next thing you need to know is that the only people who can attend your temple wedding are Mormons who have also passed all the requirements to enter the temple. This brought the grand total of friends and family members who could join us in the temple (and afford the trip to Sydney) to 5! 4 friends of T’s who already lived in Sydney… and his mum.

Fast forward to the day before my wedding. It was time for me to go to the temple for some personal ceremonies preparatory to marriage. T had already been through his ceremonies in 1996 when he began his 2 year mission to New Zealand. Women generally wait for marriage to be Initiated. Now, it was… odd, to say the least. I was freaked out. I was scared to death of the prospect of going nude (as cruelly highlighted in the temple preparation class I attended). As it turned out, the nudity was actually perfectly acceptable to me. There was a lovely sheet for me to wear (think Halloween ghost costume). The next ceremony was less nude but more ridiculous. I wanted to laugh but everyone else was so damn serious. I held it together and just started counting the hours to my wedding.

That night I was roomy with my MIL. T spent the night at a friend’s house, lucky bugger. Now, it is important to clarify here that I like my MIL. This is not a rant about her; this is a description of the circumstances surrounding my wedding. MIL is a character involved here but I lay no blame whatsoever with her. Sticking out in my mind is a conversation MIL and I had that evening. Somehow I found myself listening to stories about T. No harm in that you might think. Well yes, it was pretty well fine until we got to the story about a particular young lady that he was going to run away with when he was around 16. Hmmm. All I want to say here is that…well, this just really wasn’t very helpful to me in preparation for the big day.

The countdown continued. It was all I could do to get myself through the surrounding craziness. I shut off. Pictures of our wedding day highlight this disconnect. I may post some here. Let me think about that for a bit.

We re-entered the temple and were married, for ‘time and all eternity’. Oh, and don’t forget that wording… I committed to ‘give myself’ to T. He committed to ‘receive me’….*@#$!! … Just a technicality to leave room for those other wives to join us later ;)

The deed was done. We ‘smiled’ for photos, ate a lovely meal together (all 7 of us!) and suffered the sly looks and winks as we said goodbye and made our way to the hotel. From here on out it gets a little X-rated so we’ll leave those two lovebirds to enjoy themselves.

So, I had not a single family member or friend in attendance. No joyous celebration of a significant occasion. No friendly arm to hold on to. No happy familiar face to smile into. Fuck it’s a sad story. My wedding . My sham.

For all of the Mormons talk of ‘forever families’ this sad scenario is repeated many times all around the world. Some sick horror show played out supposedly to solidify our family tree.

Betrayal

Emma Smith and Eliza R. Snow were both 32 years of age when they became friends.

In 1835 Emma and Joseph invited Eliza to board with them while she taught a girls school. "Eliza was not fond of teaching school, but living in Emma's home offered a compensation: Eliza watched Joseph" (Mormon Enigma: Emma Hale Smith, Tippetts and Avery, p. 61).

On March 17, 1842 the Female Relief Society of Nauvoo was formed with Emma Smith as president. Emma chose Elizabeth Ann and Sarah Cleveland as her counselors and Eliza as secretary.

On 29 June 1842 Eliza R. Snow and Joseph were married in secret. At the time Eliza was living with Sarah Cleveland. Sarah's husband, John Cleveland, was living several blocks away. It seems likely that Sarah was also married to Joseph by this time.

"Sarah and Eliza knew that Emma regarded them with respect and affection. While women who became Joseph's wives were able to accept the principle of plural marriage as a revelation from God, they still had to grapple silently and alone with their betrayal of Emma. To live as a secret wife to a friend's husband demanded evasion, subterfuge, and deception. For these sincerely devout and faithful women, their duplicity regarding Emma must have prompted guilt and anxiety." (Mormon Enigma:Emma Hale Smith, Newell and Avery p. 120).

Emma worked tirelessly to promote the church, nurture the people and notably to combat accusations of polygamous practices within the church. All the while the members of this group of women, this 'Relief Society', continued to marry Emma's husband in secret.

Louisa Beaman married Joseph April 5, 1841

Agnes Coolbrith Smith married Joseph before June 1842 (she was the widow of Joseph's brother, Don Carlos).

Sarah Cleveland married Joseph in 1842 (this date is not certain but the marriage is)

Elizabeth Durfee married Joseph before June 1842 (this date is not certain but the marriage is)

(The above 2 women were older women who were sometimes referred to as "Mothers in Israel", their job was to teach the younger women the principles of plural marriage).

These women all served in the Relief Society 'supporting' Emma as president whilst married to her husband! As well as these women who were married to Joseph, there were others in the organisation who knew of the plural marriages but kept the secret from Emma.

Joseph addressed the Relief Society on May 26 1842 "There is another error which opens a door for the adversary to enter. As females posses refined feelings and sensitiveness, they are also subject to an overmuch zeal which must ever prove dangerous, and cause them to be rigid in capacity. [You] should be arm'd with mercy notwithstanding the iniquity among us.... Put a double watch over the tongue...[You] should chasten and reprove and keep it all in silence, not even mention them again... One request to the Prest. and society, that you search yourselves--the tongue is an unruly member--hold your tongues about things of no moment. A little tale will set the world on fire. At this time the truth on the guilty should not be told openly--strange as this may seem, yet this is policy. We must use precaution in bringing sinners to justice lest in exposing these heinous sins, we draw the indignation of a gentile world upon us (and to their imagination justly, too). It is necessary to hold an influence in the world and thus to spare ourselves an extermination" Joseph contradicted his previous charge that the women watch over the morals of the community. Emma was doing her job too well. " (Mormon Enigma: Emma Hale Smith, Tippetts and Avery, p.115).

Emma discovered Eliza's secret in early 1843. There is much folklore surrounding the discovery. Tales were told of Emma catching Joseph and Eliza in an embrace outside of his bedroom (Emma's room was on one side of Joseph's room, Eliza's was on the other!) and that Emma then flew into a fury and flung Eliza down the stairs. Some stories claim that Eliza was carrying Joseph's child at the time and miscarried as a result of the fall. Whatever the details it is certain that Emma would have been deeply hurt and shocked by the news.

Shame on the church for their treatment of Emma in their history. Shame on the church for their god-like portrayal of Joseph.

I know of members who believe that the practice of plural marriage was an awful, terrible mistake. They still choose to remain members of the church. They believe that Joseph made a mistake but that he was still a prophet who spoke to god and translated the Book of Mormon. I personally believe he was a complete fraud but my point here is that I hope that members of the church will at least look into the matter of plural marriage, not for my sake, god no, but for Emma and all of the women and men who suffered from the practice.

Lying by Omission

Of course the general membership know very little about Joseph Smith's 'harem', the church white-washes it's history.

Article about John Johnson's family. (the part I want to highlight begins with the paragraph "Records aren't complete" which is more than half way through the article).

"...when we examine the lives of the Johnson family, they reflect both the glory and the tragedy of these early Church experiences."

Was Marinda's life an example of the 'glory' or 'tragedy' side of things?

Compare the LDS (Mormon) article with this one.

The LDS article mentions that Orson Hyde was sent far from home on many missions. It mentions the difficult circumstances that Marinda was left in with her young children. It also mentions that Joseph Smith provided better living conditions for Marinda and her family.

What it doesn't mention is that while Orson was away on mission Joseph Smith married Marinda. It also doesn't mention that Orson later married extra wives and that in 1870 he and Marinda divorced.

The LDS article ends with this lovely statement:

"Marinda’s death ended the earthly career of the original John Johnson family, a family who left a lasting impression on the Church and all those who knew them. Like Lehi’s family, their disobedience resulted in unhappiness and tragedy, and their faithfulness resulted in the blessings and happiness of the gospel."

Hold on... I'm confused. Who ended up happy? and who got the rough end of the stick? The whole mess looks pretty miserable to me.

It seems to me that critics of the Mormon church aren't the only ones who don't include all relevant information..... "The problem is, critics of the LDS Church use scriptures selectively, and not fully, in their arguments, therefore their interpretations are faulty of what LDS teachings really are." Michael Fordham.

Let's just say that transparency is not really one of Mormonism's strong points. Lies, deception, white-washing, cover-ups... it's all there.

Some Questions/Thoughts about Plural Marriage

What is the earliest recorded plural marriage 'ordained by God'?

How was plural marriage in Joseph Smiths time a part of the 'restoration of all things"? Adam and Eve did not practice it, surely this would have been a time when 'raising up seed' was of utmost importance.

Suspending my belief that the Bible is fictitious, weren't the prophets just practicing plural marriage in accordance with their cultural traditions? What makes anyone think that such traditions would be necessary or welcome today?

People sometimes told me not to worry about plural marriage because I would get to be a 'first wife'. Well if I would not want to be a second, third, fourth, fifth etc... wife then why the fuck would I be 'happy' to put someone else in that position. NO ONE should ever have to be ranked in this way. This stinks of men first, women second .... and now thanks to JS there is ranking amongst the women. I think JS and his mates were afraid of women, misunderstood women and disrespected women. They tried to control women.

Mormons, your theology allows for plural marriage. Look into it! Don't just accept the old "We'll have the answers in the next life" shizzit. A member of my old Stake Presidency said to me that his understanding is that - Plural Marriage will be reinstated, either in the Millennium or in the next life and this includes sexual relations (I add that part because many members try to console themselves with the idea that plural marriage in the next life will be non-sexual).

What drugs are these people on?

Ignition

(Note to active Mormon members, I will say things here that you won't like)

I was an active Mormon 100% devoted to my calling with the Young Women, 100% converted to the doctrine. I gave talks in front of the entire congregation bearing witness to the things I believed were true. So what changed? Did I read anti-Mormon literature? Did I give up and say it's all just too hard? Did I crave 'worldly things'? No, No and No. I'll tell you what happened. I read the Book of Mormon. Faithfully reading from my scriptures I came to the second chapter in Jacob for the nth time in my life but this time I noticed something that I hadn't before. Here are verses 27-30, v30 is where I stopped short:

27 Wherefore, my brethren, hear me, and hearken to the word of the Lord: For there shall not any man among you have save it be one wife; and concubines he shall have none;

28 For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus saith the Lord of Hosts.

29 Wherefore, this people shall keep my commandments, saith the Lord of Hosts, or cursed be the land for their sakes.

30 For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up seed unto me, I will command my people; otherwise they shall hearken unto these things.

Here I realised that God was saying He might implement plural marriage at some future time. I had never noticed that before (must have been very sleepy those other times I read it). I cross-referenced this with 'revelations' in Joseph Smiths Doctrine and Covenants. You can read section 132 here. It outlines the 'New and Everlasting Covenant' including the plurality of wives. What I read there curdled my blood. Here are verses 54-56 (I have marked some words in bold type) :

54 And I command mine handmaid, Emma Smith, to abide and cleave unto my servant Joseph, and to none else. But if she will not abide this commandment she shall be destroyed, saith the Lord; for I am the Lord thy God, and will destroy her if she abide not in my law.

55 But if she will not abide this commandment, then shall my servant Joseph do all things for her, even as he hath said; and I will bless him and multiply him and give unto him an hundredfold in this world, of fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, houses and lands, wives and children, and crowns of eternal lives in the eternal worlds.

56 And again, verily I say, let mine handmaid forgive my servant Joseph his trespasses; and then shall she be forgiven her trespasses, wherein she has trespassed against me; and I, the Lord thy God, will bless her, and multiply her, and make her heart to rejoice.

Ok so I left the church about 5 months ago so bear with me here... here's my current response to this 'revelation' - FUCK OFF!!!!

I will give more evidence in future posts but for now suffice it to say that after more than a year of research I believe that Joseph Smith wrote this 'revelation' from his own philandering heart and mind (or should I say penis!). Whatever his delusions of grandeur were this step places him squarely in the realm of bastard, scoundrel, villain, rogue, rascal, snake, jerk, swine, cad, knave.... take your pick.

Note the highlighted section. For several hours I believed that God would destroy me if I would not accept plural marriage in the future. During this time I felt the greatest pain that I have ever felt in my life. I appeared that God did not love me as much as he did my husband, or any man for that matter. I was a 'thing', property to be traded and used. It hurt. Just remembering that experience now makes my heart race and my stomach turn. Again, after 12+ months of sorting through all of this crap I can say FUCK OFF!!! FUCK OFF!!! FUCK OFF !!! to Joe Smith and his accomplices.

I will fill in the gaps in future posts but this was the ignition of my new life.