Sexplorations

I have so many sexy things to share with you.


A couple of weeks ago I went to see The Vagina Monologues. I thought I would like it... and I did! I wasn't even uncomfortable although I thought I might be. Each monologue captured me and taught me something new. For those of you not on fb here is my status update from that night -


"So Maureen, how was the Vagina Monologues? ... Well, I learned that to love a vagina you must first love hair. I also learned that there are like a billion different ways to moan. A vagina can be very aptly compared to a heart. Oh, and I got to practice yelling "CUNT!" ... not bad for one night."


Last night I went to a community gathering organised by our local eco-faeries to listen to and ask questions of sexologist Claire Litton. I went there with 2 girlfriends and there were about 35-40 in attendance, most between the ages of about 25 and 40 and a whole lot of attractiveness to boot! You could feel the love in the room. Sexologist Claire even remarked at one point how our attention was easily lost in our apparent desire to be all hippy-love supportive of each other... big virtual hugs all round every time someone said something that resonated with someone else, which was like every freakin' time someone spoke! 


That night I learned that I'm not the only one who grew up with hang-ups about sex. The non-Mo' populace also often struggles with sexuality. Porn seemed to be a big topic. Mostly people were concerned about the negative impact that it can have on people. Sexologist Claire spoke about the pornification of our society. She said that many people are learning about sex through porn (particularly porn that is not femme friendly) rather than in sex-ed and that this is altering our sex lives somewhat. I was a bit confused, having recently delved into the world of porn I was starting to like what I saw but then I realised that I have been lucky enough to discover porn at a time when there is beginning to be a lot of feminist porn out there. I have been spoiled by Erika and Tristan. When I mentioned these film-makers to the room no-one (other that Claire) had heard of them. How weird that the least sexually experienced person in the room (taking wild liberties with my assumptions here) would have accessed the best porn of anyone in the room (more liberties). 


And probably the number one word for the night? Communication! yup, talking before, during and after sex is highly recommended. Sexy talk that is, not your shopping list ok!


Another hot tip for the night was a plug for the Genderfuck Ball in a couple of weeks.  From the ad - "Genderfuck ; (v) the self-conscious effort to “fuck with” or play with traditional notions of gender identity, gender roles, and gender presentation." Now the question, what to wear??? I can't wait!


I ran across this article about improving sex worker's rights. "The West Coast Co-operative of Sex Industry Professionals (WCCSIP) in Vancouver, Canada, is taking the safety of sex workers into its own hands, reports Joanna Chiu in Herizons. The WCCSIP, made up of women, men, and trans-individuals, is one of several successful sex-worker organizations around the world. (In India, the group Durbar Mahila Samanwaya Committee has 65,000 members.) In an ambitious new proposal aimed to reduce violence against sex workers, the WCCSIP is lobbying to start a co-op brothel in Vancouver's Downtown Eastside. "


Oooh, and I 'liked' Susie Bright on fb. I'm a little star-struck by her I must admit. Her book Sexual State of the Union opened the door for me to a bright new world of sexual freedom. 


I should also probably mention that I was un-friended by another Mo' recently over my pro-porn attitude! Here's some excerpts from that illuminating conversation - 


In the anti-porn corner we have:


the original post - "To my parent friends out there thinking about taking your kids to see Easter Bunny movie "Hop" - you may want to rethink. The Easter Bunny goes to visit the Playboy mansion and speaks to Hugh Hefner. This is just one more way Playboy markets to children and grooms children to be future pornography consumers. Disgusting."


"but Porn is evil"


"well I'll be teaching my kids that all porn is bad... I don't know what good you are refering to. In my eyes porn is a mockery of the human body"

"And it is my personal opinion that there is nothing healthy about porn, or an entire industry that exploits vulnerable people."

"Smash 'em _________"

"just coz something is a way of life these days doesnt mean we need to accept it, or that it is right. The same can be said for drug alcohol abuse and related problems inc violence, bullying, paedophilia etc. They are all more common than ever, a way of life, but do we just accept them and say it's all good? I know my answer. Good work, _________!" 

...and in the Pro-Porn corner: 

"the Playboy franchise and porn are NOT one in the same. Playboy porn is only a style of porn. We musn't paint all forms with the same Playboy brush here"

"Oh come on, porn is not the enemy here. Once again, this uninformed assumption that all porn is the same and all porn is bad. Pornography is not just Hugh Hefner and his blond living dolls. Some is not good, some is exploitative, a lot isn't."

"what is wrong with being a future pornographer?"

"BTW check out kidsinmind.com when you want to know more about a movie - http://www.kids-in-mind.co
m/h/hop.htm"

and somewhere in the middle:

"Actually, Hugh Hefner was one of the founding influences in women's rights and largely funded the movement in early years. True, his financial support was selfish - so birth control would be introduced and abortion would be made legal, but . but regardless, we wouldnt be where we are as a gender without him. Women in modern times owe him a lot for our equality. Interesting twist, huh? ;) THAT'S the reason I own at least one piece of clothing with his bunny logo on it. Im in no danger of becoming a porn star, trust me....the reference to Hugh's financial contribution to women's rights is from a book called Female Chauvanist Pigs: The Rise of Raunch Culture."

......................

Well that ought to keep you busy for a while. I'll let you know how the ball goes. 

Signs of distress

Facebook is like crack to some people - and by some people I mean ME. I have tried to wean myself off it, set time-limits, go cold-turkey but all in vain. At this point I have decided to embrace my addiction and put it to good use. There are so many interesting articles and discussions about sexuality, drug use, mental health etc that I am quite sure I can write it all off as research for my interest in health promotion (more on this at a later date).


Meanwhile fb also provides some interesting insights into how people think and feel. A recent thread on a friends wall explored the topic of pornography. It started out as a discussion about pornographic images on t-shirts and the implications of that for young children. It soon turned into a debate over the perceived perils and/or pros of porn. Veeeery interesting reading. I have copied and pasted the 80 comments (minus names) into a document w/ I will edit further for names in the comments and then add a link here. The thread started on 01 March 2011 and the last comment (so far) was made on the 10th March 2011. What I want to talk about are some of the phrases that stick out to me as common things that Mormons seem to say when they feel attacked. Having read quite a number of ex-Mo friends fb threads I'd say that there seems to be some common themes.


One that really sticks out to me are the statements of 'being done with the conversation'. This sentiment seems to be expressed quite regularly by active Mormons (sometimes more than once by the same person). The ex-Mo's and non-Mo's seem to feel no need to announce their departure.

Anti-Porn Commenter 1 -  "I've stated my views and heard yours, so thankyou everyone, i'm done."

APC1 - (1 comment later) "i need a shower and life beyond this facebook discussion must go on :) please respect that."

APC2 - "I agree _______. I need a shower too."

APC3 - "Anyway people im pretty busy today, so im out. im hanging around my computer... and i really have too many other things to get done. im sure we're not going to sort out this discussion anytime soon, and i already know how i feel and how everyone else feels. Please don't see my leaving the discussion as my opinion having no credability, or back up, but i dont want my day to be filled with conversations or pornography. I hope you all have a nice weekend. :) enjoy"

APC4 - "Anyway clearly there is a massive difference of opinion here so I'm out now, this is getting too personal. I'll agree to disagree and leave it at that."

APC4 - "I agree _______ - this discussion has gone around in a circle so this will be my last post.......(rest of TBM4 comment here).......Anyway that's all from me."

APC5 - "that is all :-)"

Why the need to announce your departure from a conversation? The other commenters (non-Mo's and ex-Mo's) simply took breaks when life got busy and returned to the conversation when they had time for it. Why all the drama? It makes the commenter sound pretty full of themselves IMO. 

______________

The next thing I noticed was a lovely term - 'you people' began to be used as a shorthand for referring to the pro-porn brigade. It was used several times before being questioned by 2 of these 'you people'. The question was ignored until brought up for a third time - "My earlier question - "you people" - what was that about? What kind of person am I?"

The response(s) - 

APC4 - "As for the 'you people' comment, I was merely commenting to a group of people - same as if you would use 'hey guys' as a greeting to a group of people. I didn't mean it as an offense."

APC6 - "Yeah that's what I meant by "you people" too I just couldn't be bothered saying all the pro porn peoples names."

______________

The final thing that I want to point out are the Hi-5's. This time both the pro-porn and anti-porn brigades engaged in this hand slapping but I think you may also note the differences...

Anti-porn Hi-5's (all from anti-porn commenters to anti-porn commenters)

"Great points _____ " 

"________,  I support you 100%!"

"And ________  I thought your comments were friggen fantastic :)"

"I've just read all the above comments and, like _______, _______ I support your opinion 100%."

"Yeaaaah ______ Dawg! Represent! Haha"

"Good comment _______ Dawg!"

"I'd just like to congratulate ________ and the Mum quoted in the above article for the courage and determination they have in striving to make this world a better place." 

 

Pro-Porn Hi-5's (all from pro-porn commenters to pro-porn commenters)

"_________, you write eloquently and with great humanity.

"I'm with _______ and her comments on this one."

Look, having been in that environment myself I know where the (religious) anti-porn party is coming from. It hurts to discuss these things. The mental gymnastics that must be done in order to continue to believe are just HUGE. I personally have a lot of time for the friend who posted the link that sparked the debate. She has had many long and intense discussions with me and I think that she tries really hard to hear everyones view. The other commenters are a little newer to the confrontation and I certainly don't want to throw them under the bus for responding in perfectly natural ways to a discussion that gets to the very core of who they are. I just wanted to analyse the discussion a little and hopefully highlight some of the cultural barriers?? between people who have a set of religious beliefs to up-hold and those who don't.