Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Age of Accountability

My daughter turns 8 this Saturday.

If we were still Mormon this would be a significant age, it would be time for her to be baptised........


I am so glad that we figured out that the whole religion thing is bullshit before she reached the age of 8. As her mother I am choosing to say NO to lessons (or songs) about the role of a woman as homemaker and baby machine. NO to being told that the husband should preside! Ew! seriously. NO to a Youth program where the girls activities are supervised by a male chaperone. NO to leaders adjusting the fit of her clothes and shaming her if her appearance is not saintly enough for them. NO to being told that how she dresses affects the self-control of boys!! NO to shame, guilt, fear, brainwashing, indoctrination and all the other bullshit that accompanies religion.

My daughter will make choices in her life that I will struggle with, I know that. There will be times (moments of weakness) when I will probably wonder if it would have been easier to raise her in the church.

Easier? maybe.
Better? never.

I want to do it the tough way. I want her to know deep in her core that she can question anybody and anything at anytime.

I love you my girl!


  1. Maureen, that is pretty tough. My wife and I have discussed this issue many times. We have heard said so often by some that they may not completely believe that the church is true, but they feel that it is a good place to raise their kids. Is it really? Is it good to put your kids though all of the pressure and guilt of the church's standards and expectations? I agree with you that taking them out of that environment is the better choice. We want our children to be confident in themselves and be who they want to be. I do not agree with having to check first to see if something is okay before pursuing something in life. Be your own person and be happy about it. In the end, I believe that my children will be happier and more sure of themselves as the person they have chosen to be.

  2. Someone once told me that the church provides moral instruction for kids. And I said, "How moral is it to lie to children?"

    Still, the pull of ritual can be very strong. Resist its inexorable gravity!

  3. I agree with you and the other comments. I just want to add that it seems to me that the people who feel that it's better to raise their kids in the church are just being lazy. They are saying that they want someone else to teach their kids morals and values, but they don't see all the bad things that come with it. I am ok teaching my kids the things I feel are important, and they don't have to deal with all the other stuff that is so damaging.

    You are doing the right thing. Your kids will thank you later.

  4. I think that having served in Primary and Young Womens it is all too fresh in my mind.. you know, the crap that is drummed into young peoples minds. Yeah they do some fun things and have a social group but the cost is just huge IMO.

    Oh, and thanks for the votes of confidence! Ah to be sure this interweb is mighty lovely.

  5. I found it tougher a few months ago after we'd just left, wondering if we were doing the right thing ... especially when this gets smashed into you as a kid:
    " 25 And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents.
    26 For this shall be a law unto the inhabitants of Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized.
    27 And their children shall be baptized for the remission of their sins when eight years old, and receive the laying on of the hands." D&C 68:25-27

    and then I realised, it doesn't matter, if I'm going to hell (I'll see you there) anyway than my kids will be fine and I will pay the price for their sins ... I'm more than happy to do that (of course I don't believe it anyway, but just in case!!).

  6. Hallelujah! Testify!
    There is a gospel choir on TV as I read this this and the comments here make me want to Rejoice!
    I feel like we're singing a in a big Aethist choir "Oh Happy Days! Oh Happy Days!"
    I agree with everything on here, Nothing to add, except Happy Birthday Neesh!!!

  7. Thanks TGIAA. She's 8 now and not a whisper was heard about baptism, the relatives behaved themselves nicely.

    See you in hell mack xx

  8. if you guys are going to hell.. i definately wanna go too!! ;-)

  9. I'm sorry, I can't make it... I already RSVP'd to a party in my pants. I might swing by hell later if there's time. save some virgins blood served in the skull of a unicorn for me..... seriously though, happy birthday nicia and may you always have such kick ass parents who would give anything for your happiness and well being. You're one special little lady

  10. hahahahahahaaaaa party in .... hahahapfffft pants hahahaha!!! we got nothin' but time baby, all eternity I believe, your pants are welcome too.