Friday, November 26, 2010


My maternal grandmother (Granny) passed away this morning. She went peacefully in a lovely aged care facility with her two daughters by her bedside. I am so happy for her. I don't know what the next life holds for any of us but I feel that she has moved on to some exciting new adventure. I imagine her young and vibrant again, like the sassy girl I saw dressed in military uniform in old black and white photos. Oh and there's lots of green grass and sunshine in my imaginary world for her. That is the beauty of freedom. I can choose whatever reality I would like to imagine her in and boom! there she is having a great time. No-one can tell me otherwise because there are no authorities on the afterlife.

Tobys grandfather passed away about 2 weeks ago now. Toby has had a difficult time processing this. He has been grieving deeply and has let out a lot of pent up emotions. It has also been tough for me to watch him dealing with so many emotions all at once. I think that our society does not allow men enough space to show emotion throughout their lives; so that when men do hit a big emotional spot they get a bit overwhelmed. Toby also had to deal with some unpleasant religious attitudes at the time which did not help him at all. I won't elaborate as that would be his story to tell if he wants to. He probably won't though. That is why my advice to any ex-mo's who are thinking about blogging would be to go with an anonymous blog; then you can talk about the things that you really need to get off your chest!

My maternal grandfather and my paternal grandmother passed on a couple of years ago now within days of each other! How interesting is that.

My memories of my maternal grandfather (Grandad) include admiring the model airplanes (check out yellow one in photo below) that he made out of glass bottles, tin and alluminium and him walking around the garden with his cigarettes, taking a 'breather' from family politics. He was from Cornwall, England and so was rather on the shorter end in terms of height (a trait I have inherited), he also had one leg a bit longer than the other and so my memories are of a cute little grandad with his trademark hobble pottering around with a glint in his eye getting on with the business of seeing beauty in everyday things.

My paternal grandmother lived in England. I saw her once when I was about 5, she and grandad came to Australia to live with us for a few months. I was then lucky enough to visit her in England when I was 18. My paternal grandfather had passed away the year before. I remember (or maybe I just remember being told about it?) sitting on his knee and listening to his awesome crazy grandad stories. He was tall and wore cool hats. My Granny was another sassy woman. I remember one evening we were all supposed to be doing some kind of fun activity but everyone was waiting for me to finish up with the dishes (hang on a minute, I was 5!!! hmmm, time to get my kids onto it) and she came in and plonked all of the cutlery onto the sink and went swish swish swish and then pulled them out again and put them on the draining board and said "that's how you do it" (or something similar) Hahahahaha, thanks Granny.

I am now grandparent-less. I loved knowing all of them and I cherish my memories of them no matter how skewed they are by time. I will be sure to remember them often and to draw upon my memories of them to help me here in my life. I love you Granny, Granny, Grandad and Grandad xxxx

Bunnys and Daredevils

Since this is my happy place I thought I'd post some old videos here that I stumbled across while clearing out the junk on my computer.

For your viewing pleasure:

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Video Evidence

I was doing some deleting today and found a few old videos you might be interested in.

This video is about 4 years old so we were still in the Mormon State of Mind.  Thought you might enjoy my daughters rendition of a favourite Primary song :)

Then there is this gem of which I am quite proud as it reassures me that we threw in a healthy balance of godlessness whilst still in 'the Trance'.  Look out for the booger meal!

... and finally, some evidence that supports those TBM accusations of my immodesty prior to leaving the Church.

To be fair I had just got back from the gym!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Psychological Dysfunction


For anyone who has wondered why I have been doing mental gymnastics for the last year or so.

Read me

That's a fucking big list when you put it all together!

You can read the article this list came from here, also very helpful for ex-mos.

Thanks Cognitive Dissenter for posting the link over at Smoking Joe's new blog Moroni Blows.