Saturday, April 30, 2011


I have so many sexy things to share with you.

A couple of weeks ago I went to see The Vagina Monologues. I thought I would like it... and I did! I wasn't even uncomfortable although I thought I might be. Each monologue captured me and taught me something new. For those of you not on fb here is my status update from that night -

"So Maureen, how was the Vagina Monologues? ... Well, I learned that to love a vagina you must first love hair. I also learned that there are like a billion different ways to moan. A vagina can be very aptly compared to a heart. Oh, and I got to practice yelling "CUNT!" ... not bad for one night."

Last night I went to a community gathering organised by our local eco-faeries to listen to and ask questions of sexologist Claire Litton. I went there with 2 girlfriends and there were about 35-40 in attendance, most between the ages of about 25 and 40 and a whole lot of attractiveness to boot! You could feel the love in the room. Sexologist Claire even remarked at one point how our attention was easily lost in our apparent desire to be all hippy-love supportive of each other... big virtual hugs all round every time someone said something that resonated with someone else, which was like every freakin' time someone spoke! 

That night I learned that I'm not the only one who grew up with hang-ups about sex. The non-Mo' populace also often struggles with sexuality. Porn seemed to be a big topic. Mostly people were concerned about the negative impact that it can have on people. Sexologist Claire spoke about the pornification of our society. She said that many people are learning about sex through porn (particularly porn that is not femme friendly) rather than in sex-ed and that this is altering our sex lives somewhat. I was a bit confused, having recently delved into the world of porn I was starting to like what I saw but then I realised that I have been lucky enough to discover porn at a time when there is beginning to be a lot of feminist porn out there. I have been spoiled by Erika and Tristan. When I mentioned these film-makers to the room no-one (other that Claire) had heard of them. How weird that the least sexually experienced person in the room (taking wild liberties with my assumptions here) would have accessed the best porn of anyone in the room (more liberties). 

And probably the number one word for the night? Communication! yup, talking before, during and after sex is highly recommended. Sexy talk that is, not your shopping list ok!

Another hot tip for the night was a plug for the Genderfuck Ball in a couple of weeks.  From the ad - "Genderfuck ; (v) the self-conscious effort to “fuck with” or play with traditional notions of gender identity, gender roles, and gender presentation." Now the question, what to wear??? I can't wait!

I ran across this article about improving sex worker's rights. "The West Coast Co-operative of Sex Industry Professionals (WCCSIP) in Vancouver, Canada, is taking the safety of sex workers into its own hands, reports Joanna Chiu in HerizonsThe WCCSIP, made up of women, men, and trans-individuals, is one of several successful sex-worker organizations around the world. (In India, the group Durbar Mahila Samanwaya Committee has 65,000 members.) In an ambitious new proposal aimed to reduce violence against sex workers, the WCCSIP is lobbying to start a co-op brothel in Vancouver's Downtown Eastside. "

Oooh, and I 'liked' Susie Bright on fb. I'm a little star-struck by her I must admit. Her book Sexual State of the Union opened the door for me to a bright new world of sexual freedom. 

I should also probably mention that I was un-friended by another Mo' recently over my pro-porn attitude! Here's some excerpts from that illuminating conversation - 

In the anti-porn corner we have:

the original post - "To my parent friends out there thinking about taking your kids to see Easter Bunny movie "Hop" - you may want to rethink. The Easter Bunny goes to visit the Playboy mansion and speaks to Hugh Hefner. This is just one more way Playboy markets to children and grooms children to be future pornography consumers. Disgusting."

"but Porn is evil"

"well I'll be teaching my kids that all porn is bad... I don't know what good you are refering to. In my eyes porn is a mockery of the human body"

"And it is my personal opinion that there is nothing healthy about porn, or an entire industry that exploits vulnerable people."

"Smash 'em _________"

"just coz something is a way of life these days doesnt mean we need to accept it, or that it is right. The same can be said for drug alcohol abuse and related problems inc violence, bullying, paedophilia etc. They are all more common than ever, a way of life, but do we just accept them and say it's all good? I know my answer. Good work, _________!" 

...and in the Pro-Porn corner: 

"the Playboy franchise and porn are NOT one in the same. Playboy porn is only a style of porn. We musn't paint all forms with the same Playboy brush here"

"Oh come on, porn is not the enemy here. Once again, this uninformed assumption that all porn is the same and all porn is bad. Pornography is not just Hugh Hefner and his blond living dolls. Some is not good, some is exploitative, a lot isn't."

"what is wrong with being a future pornographer?"

"BTW check out when you want to know more about a movie -

and somewhere in the middle:

"Actually, Hugh Hefner was one of the founding influences in women's rights and largely funded the movement in early years. True, his financial support was selfish - so birth control would be introduced and abortion would be made legal, but . but regardless, we wouldnt be where we are as a gender without him. Women in modern times owe him a lot for our equality. Interesting twist, huh? ;) THAT'S the reason I own at least one piece of clothing with his bunny logo on it. Im in no danger of becoming a porn star, trust me....the reference to Hugh's financial contribution to women's rights is from a book called Female Chauvanist Pigs: The Rise of Raunch Culture."


Well that ought to keep you busy for a while. I'll let you know how the ball goes. 

Friday, April 29, 2011

Stress-Free Kids Party: The Ultimate Oxymoron

Easter kicked my butt.

My daughter's birthday was on Easter Sunday this year and she really wanted to have her party on the day; not a week before, not a week after, the real day!

So we planned it. We sent out invites 2 weeks before the big day to give people enough time to rsvp, figuring that we could always reschedule the party if people were going away for the holiday. Instead everyone bar one said that they could come! party on.

Then the day before the party we started getting calls and texts saying that such and such couldn't make it because they had some Easter do on. One parent even gave me a 'lecture' about how their child's birthday had been on Easter Sunday last year and how they couldn't have the party on that day because everyone is busy with their families on that day. I also had another person tell me that Easter Sunday is for families and that I really shouldn't plan a party for that day. What the...!

Well this was all news to me! As a Mormon I never noticed the Easter Sunday being any different than Good Friday, Easter Saturday or Easter Monday! Well, except for going to church but we did that every week. I had never experienced the Sunday as any different to the other 3 days. I never even knew which day to plant the easter eggs, I generally just picked a day that suited me best.

Hmmm. The morning of the party we had 2 more rsvp reversals and we were forced to reschedule the party. My daughter had a few tears (I had a few tears- thanks A for listening to me whinge!) and then we picked ourselves up and went ice-skating. It was invigorating and extremely enjoyable. (Next year I think we'll have the party there!).

So yeah... just when I thought I could live my atheistic life in peace Easter came and knocked me for 6.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

My interview with the Stake President

So I couldn't just leave this witty repartée to die in the mirky depths of commentdom... I have resurrected it and hope to breathe new life into it here with you. 

INTRO - In my post 'Big Love' I mentioned that it tends to irk me that some TBMs (True Believing Mormons) now view me as "...the devil's plaything..." here's what ensued in commentdom:

Stake Pres. said...

As a stake president I definitely consider you to be a plaything um I mean the devils plaything is what I meant not my own personal plaything or anything as that would be highly inappropriate for a stake president to desire you in such a fashion which obviously wouldn't be the case.

M said...


Stake Pres. - Sorry to tease you like that :P I really should watch my word choices around men who don't regularly 'take care of business' - my bad ;D (p.s. I need to make an appointment to discuss my relationship with my shower nozzle with you, can you fit me in this week?).

Stake Pres. said...

I always give top priority in my schedule to sisters who seem to have developed inappropriate relationships with plastic devices.

In order for them to overcome their weaknesses I encourage them to provide full and thorough accounts of their experiences.

This always includes any fantasies that they have (since we are judged on our thoughts as well as our actions).

Due to the urgent nature of this offense please come and see me tomorrow evening at my office, right after family home evening.

M said...

That suits me :) We'll be having Hot Mormon Muffins for the FHE treat so I'll be sure too bring some with me to our interview. Should I bring the shower nozzle with me for clarification? Oh, your place or mine?

Stake Pres. said...

Please do bring the offending shower nozzle. It may become useful as the interview unfolds. I look forward to our meeting at the stake centre. Being a Monday night we should be able to conduct the whole affair (for want of a better word) in complete privacy.

For more such shenanigans you can visit the Stake President's own blog :D

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Fat Cats

Just a quick one today. I have been reading over some very interesting posts on 'Truth Hurts: Not the searching after, but the running from' -  There is a 4 part series there that goes into the financial world of the CoJCoLDS (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints; or the Mormon Church). 

It is well worth a read. Mostly I hope that my Mormon friends will read it. Again, not to make them feel bad/stupid/whatever but just so that they can be informed. I remember teaching classes at church and telling the class what tithing was spent on, boy was I misinformed!!!

And for my non-member friends - I think it might be illuminating for me to reveal Rockstar and I have paid more than $100,000 to the Church in our lifetime together. I can only imagine what we could have done with that money to provide for our little family. Living the advice to marry young and pop out (I accidentally typed poop out! haha) babies; as students mind you!!! kind of left us poor and very busy! Not much time for questioning beliefs. Makes me feel sick. But we figured it out in the end, phew! Yay for being able to sponsor a child in Ethiopia through an organisation we trust (Childfund) and yay for being able to provide for our little family without siphoning off our 'increase' to the Fat Cats at CoJCoLDS.

Hmmm, not such a short one after all.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Big Love

I've said this somewhere before but not here.

It is difficult to say which of these responses hurts more:

a.) TBMs who take my 'apostasy' personally and consider me to be the devils plaything.

b.) Ex-Mormons who left when they were young because Mormonism wasn't their thing and who now smirk at my rantings considering me to be some kind of half-wit for getting so distressed over it all.

c.) Never-Mo's who don't know much about Mormonism and thus also wonder why I am making such a  fuss.

So I guess it is no surprise that I take great comfort in:

a.) TBMs who genuinely care about my distress even though at times they feel confronted by me.

b.) Ex-Mormons who are also fighting back against the Mormon culture that urges 'apostates' to "Leave the Church Alone".

c.) Never-Mo's who can really SEE me and my pain and accept my strange cries as necessary outbursts in the process of healing.

Big LOVE to ALL of the people who have supported me as I have whined like a baby, stomped my feet like some creature possessed and cried many tears.