Dream a Little Dream

About a year ago someone at church stopped me in the halls and told me that they'd had a weird dream about me... (I figured if they're happy to tell me about it then it couldn't be too bad). They had dreamed that they were at the supermarket and then saw me in the fruit and veg section dressed in only a bikini! nice. So did I look good? Oh yes, you looked fabulous! great. Nice story, thanks for the laugh :) - NB: walking around in a bikini, even at the beach, is prohibited by contemporary Mormon dress standards.

Fast forward about 6 months, I needed to contact this same person about some matter and it was also necessary for me to explain to them that I had all but left the church. They then informed me that there had been a little more to the dream than they had previously let on. Apparently in the dream we had also spoken briefly and I had explained that I no longer believed in the church. Now this dream occurred at a time when the dreamer would have had no idea that I was beginning to question things. Outward appearances would have been that all was fine and dandy (nice word eh! - I think my Scottish Body Balance trainer is influencing me!).

So, there is more to this story than I can tell here but suffice to say that we (dreamer and I) take great pleasure in the idea that we have experienced our own vision aherm! I mean dream! erm, vision, nonono dream!! definitely a dream, oh but it's so confusing, how do you tell the difference?!

And there you have it... My Black Bikini is very symbolic to me. The colour choice too was purposeful. I have many dark thoughts and feelings about my metamorphosis. It also represents permission that I give myself to be angry, crass and selfish in the process. As a friend of mine flatteringly reassured me:

“An examined life makes interesting memories, though some be wrinkled, stained and painful. I look forward to the multitude of mistakes and triumphs, clarity and confusion that come with the Black Bikini. I'm sure you'll wear it with the dignity and self respect that you wore the white.”

Thank you dear friend. As my heart is beginning to feel lighter and brighter I think I may need to find myself a rainbow coloured bikini.

The Skinny on Latte's

(Background for this post can be found here. Now that I no longer adhere to the religion I am exploring things that were prohibited under the health code. Also note that at the beginning of the 'revelation' it states that the code was not give as a commandment. This changed over time and it is currently a requirement for things like temple entry and baptism. Also check out this interesting thread on the origins of the code).

So I thought we could do with a lighter post after the last one! Boy that was a tough one for me to write; and without much background it must have been a bit of a tough one to read. From now on I will tuck my bitterness safely away in my pocket when I write about the big issues.

I have a looong way to go to come anywhere close to understanding the coffee world. My first attempt was an affogato. Rockstar (this will be DHs new name for this blog) thought it would be a good start since I'm a sugar freak. It was ok but the ice-cream cooled down the coffee too much.

I had a latte one morning (a large one!) and felt fabulous. Then we went to see Avatar in 3D and I took in a flat white with me (another large one - piggy!). The movie was awesome (with or without coffee I'm sure). Then on the drive to pick up the kids I began to feel much less than ordinary. I had to take slow, deep breaths to settle my stomach and head!

Standing in line at a coffee shop I heard the girl in front of me order a 'regular skinny latte'. Aha! That sounded like it was within my ability level. Success!