Eczema update

In my search for a moisturiser that I could apply to my sons eczema ridden skin I have come across Blossom Baby Butter from Ayana Organics.  If you are in Perth, Australia then this is a wonderful local product that I highly recommend. We have been going through about 250ml of moisturiser each week (we have tried just about every moisturiser that is commonly available in chemists), applying moisturiser all over his body 3 times a day which is why I am so glad to finally have found a product that I feel completely comfortable using so often. His skin has been dry and damaged for some time and I did not want any unknown or harmful products being absorbed. What is so great about this Blossom Baby Butter is that even the preservatives are all natural. This of course gives it a shorter shelf life but we are using so much of it to manage the eczema that the shorter shelf life doesn't factor in for us. I now have some Ayana products for me too and I am loving them. I wanted to post about it here since we have been grappling with this current bout of eczema for some time and I really want to pass on any info about things that have been working for us.

We have also been going to Allergy Pathway and we are seeing great results from that as well.

The other thing we have been doing is visiting our local pools once or twice a week. It is believed that the chlorine kills off the bacteria that can develop when eczema is present. Hospitals use bleach baths but I much prefer the pools option. Plus the kids love it. Make sure you shower with things on and moisturise after pat drying yourself with a thick fluffy cotton towel.

We have been buying all cotton bed sheets, covers and clothing.

We encourage Canaan to drink plenty of water. I try to offer him water every time I get myself a drink.

We have been adding foods that promote healthy skin to our diet (i.e. foods high in antioxidants as well as other things). Our favourites are raspberries (the frozen ones are great for a snack), other berries, apples (particularly Red Delicious, Gala and Granny Smith), popcorn, oats/porridge, pear, cranberry juice (Canaan loves this for some reason!), lemons (think hot lemon and honey), broccoli (dinosaur trees), barley (beef and barley soup), parsley (in chicken noodle soup or on garlic bread), LSA (linseed, sunflower and almond meal) which Canaan loves sprinkled on his porridge, pecans, hazelnuts, walnuts (add to brownies), grapefruit (Canaan likes the pink one), pineapple, millet (I buy puffed millet and then make a slice out of it with melted choc chips, dried apricots, dried cranberries, honey and butter, experiment with quantities).

The other thing that we do is if he is having a particularly itchy night we have an antihistamine on hand to provide a better nights sleep. We try to save this for when it is really needed.

Anyway, these are the things that have been working for us. We also keep him out of direct sunlight, make sure he's wearing a hat and long sleeve shirt if he is going in the sun, and we've educated him about regulating his temperature. If he gets hot and sweaty he will itch more so he tries to remember to take layers off to cool down. We've also tried to have him rub the affected areas rather than scratch them. Oh and we keep his nails nice and short and clean, buff them too.

Phew, so much to say.

Good luck to anyone else out there trying to manage eczema. It can be tough but we're getting there. I hope these ideas help.

Tim Minchin video

Rockstar just read the last piece I wrote and suggested I add Tim Minchin's If I didn't Have You, check it out.

Parallel Time Dimension? Fuck Yeah!

I read a piece by Kiley a few weeks ago titled Would You Really Change the Past? and it brought up so many things for me that I thought I would like to post my response here. Kiley wrote her piece in response to a post that she had read at N.O.M (New Order Mormon), which asked “If you could have all the things and people you love in life and erase Mormonism from your past present and future would you do it?”. Kiley answered “no”, I answer YES!

I side more with another viewpoint I read this week. Eliza R. Snitch talks about her experiences at BYU (Brigham Young University) -

“I felt that I’d been cheated out of the college experience that I’d always dreamed of, and I was pissed off about it– and rightly so!.......So there you have it. How to get through BYU without going crazy. But really, the best way to survive BYU? LEAVE. As soon as possible.”


I hear you Eliza!!!

Although I cannot attribute all of my faults/weaknesses to Mormonism (wouldn’t that be somethin’!) I do feel that I was shaped in a very big way by my religion. From where I stand right now I do not like what I see. I know that if I had grown up without religion that I would most likely have chosen some very different directions in my life. I would also have grown up minus a shitload of guilt and shame. Now that is a Maureen that I would like to see! Bring on the Star Trek type parallel time dimension!

Even without the guarantee offered by N.O.Ms scenario (that of keeping the same people in your life etc) Rockstar and I both agreed that we would still do it. I guess that might be because we don’t believe in destiny or soul mates. We figure that we each would have found people we love just as much as we love each other and that we would have had happy, fulfilling lives.

Kiley said “I don’t think that different decisions would necessarily result in a better life”. I disagree. I believe very strongly that my life would have been markedly better had I been raised non-religious. I feel jealous of my friends who were raised this way.

Now, I do acknowledge that I gained good things from Mormonism (In fact I’ve been thinking of writing a piece about that and I think it had better be the next one I do eh) however I would much rather have learned my life skills elsewhere, you know, minus the baggage.

I agree with Kiley that I need to “…get over it, get past it, learn from it…” and I agree that I have grown a lot in the last year, II can also use my experience to help others through the tough ‘coming out’ process. I see these things as the silver lining of a very dark cloud. I find it very easy to identify with Kileys description of feeling like a survivor. Kiley, that does not sound pretentious to me, it sounds real. It feels real. I don’t want to downplay the scars that religion left on me. I feel like a survivor. That’s why I like to thrash it out in my spin classes, sweat off that anger.

Then I get to the end of Kileys piece and she says - 

“Truth be told, there are few people put in a position to have experienced such sweeping changes in their lives and ways of thinking, than people who believed and lost. As painful as such an experience is going through such things provides a point of view and perspective of the world that few others will ever earn.”

I do feel like I’ve been through the fire and I feel damned lucky to have made it to the other side. I even think, Kiley, that you may have convinced me. I surely would never choose it again (being born in the covenant) but for this life, the one that I am living now, I think I can live with it and possibly be somewhat proud of the journey and the tremendous opportunity for growth. As Christopher Hitchens says, I am glad I grew up. 

Intruder Alert

Ok, enough already! I’m going to prioritise a blog post today. I keep sending this blog to the bottom of my ‘to do’ list and it is just never going to get any love that way.

Well, one interesting thing that came up during my long absence from blackbikini was an online conversation that DH had with a friend from his past. DH told me about it while we were watching the kids play at these indoor pools that remind me of Las Vegas, so I was feeling pretty laid back at the time (I have a ‘thing’ for Las Vegas, maybe that’s why I love The Killers so much) which I was glad about since the information DH gave me may have really pissed me off had I heard it at some other time.

Once again the story plays out at our friendly neighbourhood watering hole… Facebook. A chat box popped up and it was a friend from way back (not a mutual friend btw, this ‘friend’, who shall now be referred to as ‘Intruder’, has never met me) and conversation soon turned to religion (or lack thereof vis-à-vis Atheism), always a crowd pleaser!

Intruder complained to DH about how it was just such a terrible shame the way that his wife had dragged him away from the gospel; “what happened to the old __________ that I used to know” Intruder continued.

Well DH defended himself of course. He had his doubts about the church waaaaay before I did. The amazing part of our story is that for most of our marriage DH managed to keep his doubts to himself. He saw that I was really invested in the religion and that I seemed happy there. He didn’t want to disrupt that since his doubts were speculations and church life seemed to be a ‘good thing’ for our little family. When I ran headlong into polygamy (you can only hide it away in your closet of things you’d like to ignore for so long you know!) he saw the tide was changing. I was M. A. D.; change was coming. He took the leap before I did. He had been contemplating the god theory for at least 10 years and he was ready when the opportunity to openly question it presented itself. His disaffection was cleaner, more harmonious with good mental and physical health. I on the other hand felt like I had been ripped to shreds, hence the emergence of blackbikini, my lifeline.

So if there are any other lurkers out there who think I put on my fishwife boots and dragged DH out of the arms of god then think again.

As for “the old __________” that you “used to know” firstly, ‘know’ is certainly an overstatement. After 10 years of marriage I’d say DH and I are just beginning to scratch the surface of who the other really is, or is becoming. Secondly this statement is one of those pesky little things that Mo’s say when someone leaves… “where has the ‘real’ you gone??” , well I’d like to respond to that in like fashion “do you mean the Automaton that looked like me and smelled like me but that was really just , well, an Automaton!”.  For god’s sake, see the person not the ‘apostate’ people!!!

Finally, Intruder backed off from the ‘let’s dump this shit on his wife because she’s clearly the problem, what with that loud mouth and all’ rant and moved on to bagging my blog (blackbikini is like a train wreck to some people, they just can’t look away!) and then some truly delightful insights into ‘the problem’ with ‘the gays’. Nice.

Now, Intruder, you and I have never met (pray Allah we never do). This piece I’ve written here is sure to rub you the wrong way but I hope it will make you stop and think the next time you open your mouth (especially on facebook, people get ‘braver’ read stupider on facebook). I do have to thank you for one thing though, well no, two things. This story gave me a good laugh at a time when I really needed one; your bigotry turned my Las Vegas oasis into a chuckles retreat. The other payoff was that DH and I got to have a good laugh about something Mormon together.

Toot Toot!

Time to toot my own horn as Koda would say.  A splendiferous LDS friend of mine asked me to write a piece about my deconversion for her blog. Most of the readers are LDS and they have been great. Have a peek if you want, the discussion going on there is quite interesting. I am learning a lot.

Collision

Anyone know the Faith No More song 'Collision'?

Mike Patton roars "Collision" and your skin and hair ignite... bloodrush, you're alive! It's the first word in the first song on 'Album of The Year' (those guys have no problems with self esteem!).

I'm expecting some hair-raising fun at the screening of 'Collision' this Thursday, 5 August at the University of Western Australia Tavern. UWA Atheist and Agnostic Society is putting on an event with the UWA Christian Union. There will be a screening of the film 'Collision' featuring Christopher Hitchens and Douglas Wilson followed by discussion, yay!!!

Can't wait. See you there.

For more info visit Good Reason.

Get out the popcorn and put your feet up

If you like movies then visit my new blog and get reviewing!