Bonkers

This cartoon aptly describes my current level of insanity. I can't share the details with you but I will report that I am headed off for a 90 minute massage on Thursday; the kids go back to school tomorrow and my fridge is stocked with Strongbow Dry. I will survive.

Figmented Imagination

I've been having a bit of a rotten time lately so I just wanted to check in and share my favourite comic this week ... I am still to begin the next 30-day challenge ... working on sanity levels first. Big LOve.

check out more great comics at Bizarro Blog

Reincarnation

Do you buy it?

I seriously hope against this one BUT I also seriously doubt that it occurs; so my world is not rocked by the possibility.

I was shocked that Rockstar was all for it though. Was he just being argumentative (his favourite hobby) or did he really mean it when he said that being horribly abused would be an experience of sorts???!!!

I had just stated that I did not care to play Russian roulette with the human/animalian(?) experience... You could come back as a bug or some animal that humans love to eat or as a skeleton child in East Africa or the child of a psychopath or something equally terrifying. This is one of those times where I am the pessimist, the most pessimistic pessimist you ever saw too! I mean, seriously. I think I was pretty damned lucky to be born where and when I was; and in the skin I am in; and with the opportunities I have. Sure, I'd love to have another crack at life if I could don a second privileged bodysuit but I think the odds are ridiculously stacked against us that we would come back in a form/body that would have acceptably desirable opportunities for a happy existence.

What do you think? Am I looking at the world through murky lenses or do I speak truth?

30 days and 2 years

30 Days.

Here we are, 30 straight (not sober) days of blogging! Woot. Thanks for the challenge Daniel... I have gained a lot from it and only cursed your name a few times, swear.

From the looks of things you all want me to chill and meditate for the next month ( I did not in anyway influence this outcome ;) with a dead tie on the 30 day photo thing BUT I did attempt the 365 day photo challenge a few months ago on FB and got about 75 days into it so I think I'll try that one a bit later,  maybe in conjunction with a photogenic 30-day challenge, like the "make something everyday" or "clean something everyday" challenges, for proof.

2 Years.

September is my birth month and it also now happens to mark the years of my life outside of the Mormon religion. I stopped paying a tenth of my income to CoJCoLDS (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) in September of 2009. I had my emotional/mental rift with the church about 6 months before that but the very tangible monetary factor halted in 09/09.

I was going to try and make a break tomorrow and neatly shovel all of my ex-Mormon baggage into a neat little pile and decorate it with flowers etc for you to peruse at your leisure but otherwise ignore it myself. I have decided against this now. I am not healed. I am not new and sparkly and whole and transformed. I have worked through A LOT of shit over the last 2 (and a half) years but there is plenty more to go. I don't think it would be wise to try and hide from it. I have this urge to tuck it under the rug because it would make a bunch of OTHER people a lot more comfortable.

There is also this urge to gloss over the REALLY dark stuff and dress it all up to look presentable to the believing community so that they (if they are still lurking) would see how brilliant it is to be out of the church and may even venture out for themselves. Whilst I am so glad that I am out and I will never ever go back... life goes on and it is not always easy.

My partner (Rockstar) and I have each been on HUGE personal journeys this year and our relationship has scraped through by the skin of its bloody teeth. I mean it. That was fucking rough man.

But here we are on some kind of high again and I can't help but feel very optimistic about the latest hurdles we have overcome because they were sooooooo huge (and they're not all entirely surmounted yet) and there is a very real sense (at least on my part) of victory atop a panoramic mountain; flag in hand; bright sun smiling back at me.

Thanks for coming along for the ride. I think I can safely guarantee you another year of drunken posts and unwanted revelations. 2012 looks set to rock the house! Plenty of 'end of days' action to be sure... Big sloppy Irish kisses to you and yours.

Love and chest bumps,
Bikinimaureen.

My Top 10

Good Reason - Grounding me post by post.

The Girl Who - When I need to snap out of 'it'. 

Chaos Theory - For angrily baked goods and hairy motivation. 

Erika Lust's Blog - For feeding the burning loins.

LDS (Mormon) Stake Presidents Blog - My authority figure.

*e* - Reminding me that life is ART! (going to my happy place).

a very foodly diary - Nourishing ma' belly.

Facsimilogos - A thinker I'd love to sit down and chat with for hours.

Eliza R. Snitch - She is NOT a nice girl ;P

Our Mother's Keeper - Keeping me informed and alert for our Earth.

Be Heard

Keep writing, talking, protesting, walking, demonstrating, lobbying, sharing, posting, reading, thinking, QUESTIONING! caring, loving, living!

Occupy WallStreet

Right and Wrong

How many things can you squarely put into these two categories?

I am finding that these 2 once very full categories are haemorrhaging badly like there's no tomorrow. (There is a tomorrow).

To the point that I feel very wishy-washy and I'm getting a sore butt from lots of fence sitting. Buuuuuut, what am I supposed to do when my compass for life smashed on the rocks of insanity and I just can't seem to make up from down? My anxiety levels are, well, they are often very high let's just say that (can you all please go over to the poll on the top right hand corner of my blog now and vote for 30-days of meditation. Thank you very much).

Breathe.

However, it would seem that I am not alone in this. I recently joined a Facebook group that is organising an event to "End Animal Cruelty". A worthy cause on the face of it. Then someone posted a link to an ethical farmer and asked if anyone would mind if that farmer were represented at the event. Then things started to get interesting...

"the use of animals is wrong. they are NOT products. they are living beings like you and i. it would be wrong to promote animals as products!"

"Those that buy 'organic meats' may feel better about themselves, but they are doing nothing for the greater picture in the end. Go vegetarian or vegan and be done with it, if you really give a damn."

"Oh and if people who make money from the "production, exploitation and death of other animals are invited to Perth WEEAC, I'm out - how can you tell people that wearing fur is wrong but eating cows is OK?"

"What exactly is humane and NOT abusive about ending an animals' life prematurely (ie cows - killed by 6 years of age, if not sooner, when they can actually live 20 years) by ramming a big bloody steel bolt into their heads?"

"Yes there are people at different stages of their journey, however that does not change the fact that the comments made by ---------- are true. If the truth makes you uncomfortable/defensive; ask yourself why."

Now I am not arguing against these points exactly, what I am interested in is the passion/zeal for the cause. So if I eat meat I am wrong/ a bad person/ a murderer? I am undecided on the matter of vegetarianism/veganism but does that make be a bad person? If cave-men ate only plants would they have been able to survive? Is it because our population is now so huge that meat eating has become a cruel practice and unsustainable? Health-wise if I eat meat and animal products from ethically raised and slaughtered animals will I thrive more than a vegetarian/vegan. Is that arrogant for me to even care more for my own health than for that of the animals I want to consume. Sentience? Am I being a monster?

The debates on this Facebook page also seem to be retarding the planning process for the event. I don't think there will be any food available at the event because the logistics of it all have become too much. Making vegan food can be expensive and a lot of the ready to buy stuff has yucky preservatives in it. There was going to be a coffee van but now there are issues over what type of milk they will use. I will be interested to see how this all pans out. Oh, and the event is in 13 days.

There are so many arguments for and against eating meat. Just as there are with many other hot topics in life. So how do we communicate without shutting each other out, demonising, polarising, fighting, killing, destroying? 


There are so may ways to live life. So many routes to take, so many things to consider. I am all for stating ones opinion on something and even venting/ranting about it in the appropriate places (e.g. blogs) but knowing how dramatically our opinions can change over time I think that it is important to remember not to use the "right" and "wrong" boxes carelessly. I think I can use those boxes for myself, what is "right/good" for ME, what is "wrong/bad" for me. Even this will change over time but I think it can be useful to know what works and what doesn't. BUT for other people, surely only they can make those decisions for themselves. 
  
I take comfort in reminding myself that ... "When we know better we do better" and in the meantime I don't wanted to be paralysed by indecision so I will learn as much as I can; and then sometimes... I am going to go with my gut.


Nom Nom Nom.