Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I think I'm numb

Or maybe I just grew an exoskeleton. The loss of friends, the mean words, the ostracism, the sneakiness, the hypocrisy... all of it, it just doesn't hurt that much any more. It's like as 'they' get madder and meaner I care less about trying to salvage friendships and realise that they were false all along. We were friends because we had to be. It was part of the 'code'.

It still hurts but I think I'm getting the hang of being that duck, you know the one with water skimming off its back.


  1. Sorry to hear you're still going through it. Sending some encouragement your way!

    I've wondered sometimes why they're more afraid of us than we are of them. Maybe it's because of magical thinking. If you think that thoughts can come to you from somewhere outside yourself (e.g. via magical beings), then it would make sense to avoid people with different ideas, in case they're contagious! On the other hand, I don't mind having LDS friends -- I can be in the same room without worrying that I'll start thinking like them. I have a feeling that the Mormons who are most able to tolerate ex-Mormons probably have a more sensible (and less faith-based) component to them, and are less likely to go in for the superstitious aspects of the religion.

    I think you have it right. They were your friends because you were in the same building on Sunday mornings, and you shared a common mythology. Now you're no longer in the building, and you no longer share the mythology, so as far as they're concerned, the things the friendship was based on have dissolved. A poor sort of friendship. But there might have been some people in that building who liked you. I have a feeling they'll be popping up.

    On another note, your title reminded me of a Nirvana song I like, so thanks for that.

  2. 'Tis ok, I am getting better at filing these comments away in the section of my brain allocated for religious zealot-robots or RZR for short, let's call them razors!! hehe

    Rockstar honestly thinks that some of the members think that I am the devils mouth piece.

    As for those liberal Mormons you speak of, they are beginning to pop up and oh my gravy do I love them!

    I could do with a bit of Nirvana right now, good idea