It's late and I am going to be cheeky and whip up a quick post. The other day I wrote about some Mormon facebook pages that I had been commenting on. I got into a discussion with a member who at first seemed pissed off but then started to try and 'fix' me; or (re)convert me, something like that. So, rather than get into it all on the Mormon facebook page I just sent 'my evangelist' a link to the post I wrote and here is the response I got this morning. I'll respond to it later but first I thought I'd see if anyone else wants to take a crack at it?
Evangelist: "Sorry, the blog doesn't exist, at least to me. You're happy? You've left the church, but you couldn't leave the church alone. A happy person has better things to do than returning to a site that makes her mad. However, no matter what you do, or how hard you try, Nothing you do will make you Not a Daughter of God."
Over to you...
Ok I'm looking for an excuse to enjoy a cup of tea so I think I'll respond now.
"the blog doesn't exist" aka burying one's head in the sand. Religious beliefs don't hold up very well to investigation or criticism so they're best protected by secrecy and ignorance.
"You're happy?" - I never said I was happy. I'm happy sometimes, sometimes I'm sad. This week I am just damn tired! I vow to never stay up till 5am ever again when I have to pick the kids up at 10am. Strangely though I am a lot happier this week despite the tiredness. What I'm trying to say (in a very roundabout way) is, that I don't expect religion to make me happy or not. I had mood swings in the church and I have mood swings out of the church. What has changed is that I am in control of my own life and so I am responsible for my own feelings. The liberation is amazing; there is a lot to work through but I AM so happy to be able to make my own mind p about everything in life rather than be told 'how it is'. Huge difference. Big learning curve too. (I'm like a teenager still learning how to be an adult, as someone put it on fb this week).
Also, the question mark reminds me that Mormons don't believe you can be truly happy outside of the church. Evangelist thinks that my visiting the Mormon fb page is evidence that I am not truly happy. See the next statement...
"You've left the church, but you couldn't leave the church alone" - Ugh! If I could have a dollar for every time I or one of my ex-Mo' friends has had this piece of 'Mormon doctrine' spouted at them then I could probably recoup all the tithing I paid as a Mo' slave.
First, Mormons never seem to notice their own hypocrisy here. Who sends their youth two by two into the world; knocking on doors, proclaiming 'the truth', condemning the wicked? Not to mention the fb page that evangelist is arguing with me on IS a proselytising tool! LEAVE THE WORLD ALONE EVANGELIST(S)!!!
Secondly, indoctrination and manipulation are not easily undone. AND I was born into the church so they had me in my formative years. I am still (and will be for my whole life) challenging old patterns in my behaviour and thoughts that have been instilled since birth and which I need to challenge and change. The church will be a part of me for my whole life. It raised me and it has a lot to answer for ;)
"A happy person has better things to do than returning to a site that makes her mad." - Evangelist is extrapolating from other commenters on the page. I never said that the facebook page made me mad. In fact I chose to comment there largely because I was pleased to discover how 'over it' I really was. As in, the whole exercise felt like just that, an exercise, in debating with the faithful and formulating my own arguments in a rational and less emotional way than in the past.
"However, no matter what you do, or how hard you try, Nothing you do will make you Not a Daughter of God." This reminds me of the commandment to love god. It is not a choice, you are commanded to love him. The whole idea just conjures up images of prison and torture for me. Where is the peace, the love, the freedom? Certainly not with a god who speaks in these terms. Let me go!